For everyone who has a fur baby

[chargeit2him]

Dear Dog and Cat,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch
positions with each other so there are still two of you in
the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing
a paw print in the middle of my plate &food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food &dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.)

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very
sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the
couch to ensure your comfort! Look at videos of dogs and cats
sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to
the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or
get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must
exit through the same door I entered. (In addition, I have been
using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is
not mandatory.)

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or
cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple
change for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front
door.....

Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about
our pets:

1. They live here; you don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.

3. I like my pet better than I like most people.

4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son
and/or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech
challenged. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't
ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come
when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug
using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the
latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion
dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results

[juju4u0913]

Thanks for that post...I'm an animal lover and all my friends are too!! That is so cute, do you mind if I pass it on to my friends and family? Did you write that, or did someone else? It's adorable and so very true, especially the part about trying to use the bathroom in peace without my fur babies trying to get in b/c they have seperation anxiety!! ;) :laff2: :laff:

Love & Light,
Julie
:angel3:

[starlasue]

Too good! :laff2: I'd add one to the top part of the letter -

This is MY dinner. I don't sit at your bowl and whine while you eat your dinner. And scratching at my foot and looking at me pathetically does nothing to help your case! After nine years you'd think you'd have learned this by now! (Of course, sometimes you look so pathetic that I laugh so hard that I spit things out - I guess that is what you are hoping for!) :laff:

Thanks for sharing this letter with us!

Peace
starlasue

[CarolynB]

I'm trying to figure out where you find a cat that doesn't do drugs or hang out with other cats that do drugs :laff2: ! I'm not allowed to have pets in my current apartment, but when I had them before, they always came home high on catnip.;)

[erdugal]

Sandy,

I loved this post! I can relate - we have two kitties who are brothers. Our big guy loves to stretch out to his full length on the bed next to my husband. I like to think he's keeping my spot warm!

With your permission, I will pass this on to other animal lovers who will definitely appreciate it. :laff:


Blessings to All,

Linda
NO. VA

[PBPan]

That is my Cadie Aria, my border collie mix who is my baby girl. She isn't allowed to have people food but on occasion will try and get a table scrap or two, the hallway is her race track, especially when she has friends over. The bed is hers in the morning, when you are in the bathroom, she'll sit outside the door and keep guard til you get out, and definitely need to work on the kiss order, and those are definitely the rules of my house. As I told our real estate agent, we got the house so that we could adopt her.

What's funny is that my husband and I watch a lot of tv, and she'll curl up with us and either take a nap or just hang out, except when COWJE is on. She will curl up on the couch with me and actually watch the show, its kinda cool.

Definitely a poem to pass around!

Thank you so much for sharing!

:love: Megan and Cadie Aria

[Gail]

I'm sure a lot of you with beloved cats know they don't like taking pills. Here are some easy instructions on giving them one...author unknown. :D


Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.


Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle in left arm and repeat process.

Retrive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg on dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Hold heavy vertically and pour 1 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange from RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

[erdugal]

Good grief!! I burst out laughing when I read this one about giving pills to cats. rofl

It describes the first cat I had when I was a teenager (many moons ago) to a "T". He was jealous of other cats, dogs, and humans outside of the immediate family and didn't hesitate to let us know about it!!

Thanks for another good chuckle on a Friday afternoon.

Blessings to All,

Linda
NO. VA

[czechchick3]

This is by far the FUNNIEST thread. OMG all I can do is shake my head! Gail, I have got to share those directions with my vet!

[juju4u0913]

I'm crying b/c that sounds very familiar to me!! :laff2: :laff: :eek: rofl

[Tanner2]

Gail, the pill thing is so dead on. We recently had to have an abscessed tooth removed from my older cat. He looked so pitiful, and it was a front fang. Then the vet hands me 14 days worth of antibiotics he expects me to stick in this poor cat's mouth twice a day. Well it actually went better in the beginning because he was still doped up and weak. Now he's strong and cagey. I have won the battle, but now he watches me like a hawk. If I make any funny moves, he's under the bed where I can't reach him! :laff2:

[Jacqueline]

Funny, getting my cats to take pills is no problem. The thing I have a hard time with is the liquids that you have to give them.
You all know the ones I mean. The vet gives you a bottle of this thick yellow banana smelling liquid, and a syringe that is small enough to use for a sewing needle, and then tells you that you must give this to your coughing, hacking, sneezing cat for the next ten days. :eek: Yeah Right!!!
Personally, I figure that since they charge so much in the first place, I shouldn't have to be the one chasing my cat all over creation, trying to give it something that the vet told me to give it in the first place. ;)

[chargeit2him]

my sister sends me things like that. I'm going to send the cat one to her so she can forward it to her vet Gail. :laff: thats a good one.
Sandy

[juju4u0913]

I'm gonna let y'all in on a secret......My cat hurt his back...yes a cat with back problems, weird huh, yes you are right, we think he got kicked by our horse, anyway, the Vet told us about the compound pharmacy down the road.

I got the script from the Vet, went to the pharmacy and he mixed up a compound that you rub onto their ear. It's the best thing since sliced bread...lol, you get to do the petting on you cat and the cat keeps the shreading claws in b/c they think you are just loving them!!! It worked all day long, what a great thing, a salve to go on a cats ear instead of a pill! :jumper: :thumbsup: :P

Love & Light,
Julie
:angel3:

[AngelsMailroom]

WOWEE KAZOWEE!!!!! You're so lucky! You have a horse.... I always wanted one when I was growing up. When I was a kid, I wanted to be Roy Rogers until I discovered there was a really good reason that I couldn't be... so then I thought I'd grow up to be Dale Evans. :rolleyes:

[Gail]

Probably very easy to give a horse a pill. Large pills shouldn't be a problem.

I do know I've been given prescriptions for pills for myself, that needed to be swallowed whole, that I thought should have been prescribed for a horse. :surprise:

[Jude]

I got the script from the Vet, went to the pharmacy and he mixed up a compound that you rub onto their ear.

Are you serious?? What a life-saver -- and I'm NOT exaggerating! :laff2:

My wonderful, beautiful :cat: (now on the Other Side) was a terror if he had to take any meds orally. When given the option, I would take him to the vet each day for an injection rather than attempt to administer oral medication. Even the vet and his assistants (4 adults) could not hold him down. :meow:

It was quite a site to behold... :eek:

[Dawn]

GREAT THREAD!!!! I am cracking up.....my mother-in-law had a cat, an old tom that lived to be 17...he weighed about 20 pounds and they called him "BABY"....he was so strong and hard to handle that once when they took him to the vet for an ailment that required an overnight stay, he had to be put in a cage marked "Only to be handled by owner" because he scratched the poor vet so badly!

[Gail]

I have a co-worker that has three cats. She can never take them all to the vet at one time because they are too hard to handle. She is also a very large woman.

She took one in a nice cardboard carrier and sat down among all the owners of large dogs. They heard the noises from the angry cat and looked at that box with great interest. To their great joy, the cat scratched a hole in that box and leaped into the air. My friend has never moved so fast before and caught her in mid air. :D

[juju4u0913]

TXJUDE...yes, there aren't very many compound pharmacies around anymore, but if you ever need to give a cat a pill or something, check to see if it can be made into a saave. I know, all they did with Max's (my cat) pills, was crush them up and add something to hold it together, then I squeezed out the appropriate amount and quickly smeared it onto his ear...it's the best thing since sliced bread!!

[delusionalblond]

My oldest cat, Miss Bianca has to take aspirin twice a week since she had a stroke 3 years ago. Bless her heart, she's great about it. Sinbad, the second cat of my 4 is wonderful at home but becomes demon-boy at the vets. Even for routine exams they have to have extra people standing by because he is so poorly behaved. Daphne & Caesar ( the babies) are good...so far. :meow: Pam

[Gail]

Bumping this up for some members who have cats and said they have never seen the pill story. :meow: