Humor at John Edward's expense

[Pam]

Not exactly "news" but taken from a real news search:


Tales from Mom's Crypt Eight: Tiff and the Haunted House of Pancakes

The Cornservatory
4210 N. Lincoln Ave.
Chicago

Annual Halloween show features scary, campy short stories, including "The Killer Wore Khaki," "Rosemary's Baby Daddy," "Crossing-dressing Over with John Edward" and "The Berwyn Wives."

Oct. 27: 8 p.m.
Oct. 28: 8 p.m.
Oct. 29: 8 p.m.
Oct. 31: 7 p.m.
Price: $6-$12
Box office: 312-409-6435
http://metromix.chicagotribune.com/stage/106798,0,1155672.event?coll=mmx-home_bottom_hedsh2o

[starlasue]

rofl

[Irishrose]

I think that would be worth the price of admission :laff:

[Jude]

I'm with YOU, Irish!

:laff2: rofl :laff2:

[Gail]

I just came across a transcript of the "spoof" of John Edward done on "Saturday Night Live". They didn't know enough about him to get his name correct but it is pretty funny. :)





01c: Drew Barrymore / Macy Gray

Crossing Over with John Edwards

John Edwards.....Will Ferrell
Fran's Friend.....Drew Barrymore
Fran.....Maya Rudolph




Announcer: From an early age, John Edward displayed remarkable psychic abilities, predictions and premonitions he couldn't explain. At 15, a reading by a psychic changed his life. John was told what millions have witnessed. He can reunite people in the physical world with those that have.. crossed over.

[ dissolve to set, John Edwards overlooking his audience ]

John Edwards: Welcome to "Crossing Over". Before we begin, I must stress again the importance of remembering the details that come from these sessions. Specifically, the things that don't seem to make sense at first. It's imperative that you remember everything I say. Okay. I think I'm ready. And.. I'm going over here.. in this direction.. right here. And someone over here, I'm getting a J. A J.. a woman with a J connection. Who's got a woman with a J? [ no response ] Maybe K? K or J? A woman with a K or J. [ no response ] Or.. R? K, J, R.. or F.

Fran's Friend: [ raises hand ] Oh! I know an F!

John Edwards: Okay. Okay, what's the name?

Fran's Friend: Fran.

John Edwards: And she passed recently?

No, she's sitting right here.

John Edwards: Okay.. maybe it was Fran I was getting. Fran, did you have someone pass recently?

Fran: Yes, I did.

John Edwards: Okay. And did their name begin with a J or a K?

Fran: No.

John Edwards: [ pause ] Or a P? Or a B?

Fran: No.

John Edwards: T, L, Z or D?

Fran: No.

John Edwards: Or.. S.. or W? A taller person.. name begins with a B.. or an H. [ no response ] B or a G?

Fran: No. I'm sorry.

John Edwards: Could be a man.. who owned an animal.. or saw an animal.. in the wild.. or in a zoo setting? [ pause ] It might have been a man with a TV or a radio.. in his apartment or his home.. or his office.. or his parents' home.. or in a dormitory. Name begins with Y or M.. or C.. or an E..

Fran's Friend: [ excited ] Ooh.. ooh! Evan! We knew an Evan!

Fran: Oh, which one was he?

Fran's Friend: Oh, he worked with the other guy, the one with the moustache!

John Edwards: [ full of it ] I'm seeing a moustache. Is that a man with a moustache? A friend named Evan?

Fran's Friend: Oh, yes! He was friends with Evan!

John Edwards: Yes. Yes. And he had a very long moustache, like a handlebar, like a Fu Manchu.

Fran's Friend: No, it -

John Edwards: It's shorter. It's shorter. Like a Tom Selleck moustache. Or, even shorter, like a John Waters moustache.

Fran's Friend: Not really..

John Edwards: [ getting angry ] Well, I'm seeing a moustache, are you calling me a liar?

Fran's Friend: No. Keep going.

John Edwards: [ sighs ] Okay. I see him working.. with something.. his hands are holding.. a thing.. a.. a lantern.. [ quickly ] No, no, no! I take it back, that was dumb! That was dumb! He did hold a thing.. he did a hold a thing..

Fran's Friend: Yes! He held a book, he was a teacher!

Fran: This is incredible!

John Edwards: A teacher. Okay, he was a teacher.. he was a teacher.. and, for some reason, I'm getting a school. Does that mean anything?

Fran: Yes! He taught at a school!

John Edwards: Yes. Yes, he taught hi-i-i-i.. s-s-s-sc.. he taught.. he was a teacher of f-f-f-.. Physics.

Fran's Friend: No.

John Edwards: Phys Ed?

Fran's Friend: No.

John Edwards: Physiology?

Fran's Friend: No, he taught -

John Edwards: Sshhh! Ssshhh! Sshhhh! Finance? [ no response ] Phonics? [ no response ] Phy-philosophy! Philosophy! [ no response ] He taught people?

Fran's Friend: Yes, he did. He taught a fishing course at the Learning Annex.

John Edwards: Okay, that's not real teaching, I'm sorry. Okay, how am I supposed to get that? How am I supposed to get that? Okay, screw you guys, you guys are dead to me! Okay, screw you guys. Okay. I'm going over here now.. I see someone.. who ate food and drove a car..

[ dissolve to show logo ]

[ fade ]




SNL Transcripts

[Pam]

There's a good deal of "JE" stuff that I don't feel the need to see, but let me just say that the only thing funnier to me, than cats and dogs talking like humans, (which is THE funniest thing in the world to me,) is men in dresses and full hair and makeup.

Sorry, I'm just very (very) weird that way! So, I think I'd pay good money to see JE in drag. I wonder if he'd do it for charity? :hmm:

[doodledink]

I'm with you Pam... although with John's sense of humor, anytime John would be willing to do something funny and fun for charity..I'll be buying the ticket!

[Beth]

Maybe John would do it for the JE Friends Blizzard of Bucks campaign!

[Irishrose]

He might do it - just for fun. But I would be willing to bet that he would be laughing too hard to be able to pull it off. From what I have seen it does not take too much to set him off. :laff:

[Pam]

Maybe John would do it for the JE Friends Blizzard of Bucks campaign!Ummm no, I was thinking along the lines of the American Lung Association or the Chemo Angels or something a bit more worthy :)

I think he needs to be brightened up a bit, maybe some soft rose, or cream...

[unicorn91432]

I think John would make a darn cute female type!:blush:

At the risk of sounding stupid (so what's new:rolleyes: ),

is John actually going to be in the show, or is someone going to impersonate him? :question:

[Pam]

I'm quite sure John has no involvement with the show mentioned. It's just a send-up by a Chicago comedy group, in honor of Halloween.

You know, I have hazel eyes too, and a nice plum eyeshadow really makes them stand out. :eek:

[Gail]

I'm another of those hazel eyed women. We can change the color of our eyes depending what color we are wearing. Blue-Green-Gold. :)

[doodledink]

I'm thinking HOT PINK BOA!!!! You know he probably has a flare for the dramatic dressing and accessories anyway... he IS a competitive ballroom dancer after all! LOL!

[Irishrose]

You guys are sooooo bad!

Pink Boa indeed!

Honey, you know it has to be spike heels, sequens and a rose between his teeth. OMG! Can't you just see it. rofl

[starlasue]

pooooorrrrrrrrr John! :eek: :lwink:

[Dawn]

You guys are sooooo bad!

Pink Boa indeed!

Honey, you know it has to be spike heels, sequens and a rose between his teeth. OMG! Can't you just see it. rofl


A BLUE rose....definitely a BLUE rose! rofl

[Stephanie]

"A blue rose" Now you got my attention and I would pay the price of admission to see that ;)

Blue is John's favorite color........:laff2:

Clar