Don
03-02-2005, 08:26 AM
Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can
be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to
a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. Dry cleaners charge you less. The
world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental -- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to
them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood! -- all the !
time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays
its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all
your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear
shorts no matter how your legs look. You can do your nails with a
pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do holiday shopping for 25 relatives on the last day in 25
minutes. No wonder men are happier.
creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can
be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to
a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. Dry cleaners charge you less. The
world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental -- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to
them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood! -- all the !
time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be
your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays
its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all
your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear
shorts no matter how your legs look. You can do your nails with a
pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do holiday shopping for 25 relatives on the last day in 25
minutes. No wonder men are happier.