Pet Diaries

[Laura]

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:


8:00 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - Oh boy! A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Oh boy! Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Oh boy! Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Oh boy! Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - oh boy! Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Oh boy! Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm -Oh boy! Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts for a Cat's Daily Diary:


Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally deficient.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe....for now!

[starlasue]

:lwink:

[CarolynB]

:laff:

[Pam]

Animal Diaries:

Excerpt from a dog's daily diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Excerpts from a cat's daily diary:

Day 683 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of.

However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return.

He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.

I am certain that he reports my every move.

My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe...for now...

[Jude]

Thanks so much for posting! I got this in my e-mail a few days ago and accidentally deleted it. :(

As a cat owner, I can totally identify! :meow: My sister and niece have both cats and dogs, so they really appreciated this:

The dog receives special privileges.

He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return.

He is obviously retarded!


:D rofl :D

[Stephanie]

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.

:cat: My kitty Ayla likes to do this to me at 3am when I'm trying to find the bathroom in the pitch blackness. :laff2:

[Gail]

I'm watching my daughter's puppies today.

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

Adding to playing in the yard: Bringing back in the house all the old leaves, dead sticks, and mud that can stick to my body...even more fun. :(