Counteracting Negativity using The Secret

[LoriM]

How can you counteract the affects of negative thinking by someone close to you? My husband by nature is a pessimist and since his stroke in 2001 this characteristic has amplified even more. He is a worry wart ALL the time about everything and now that I know the effects of negative thinking I notice it even more.

I have been able to use the techniques learned from the wonderful people here and by the wonderful authors like John Holland, John Edward, and Colette Baron-Reid just to name a few. Doing so has worked wonders for me and changed the way I treat my husband and deal with his negativity - up until now.

Now I am armed with even more information about the power of negative thoughts thanks to “The Secret” and things are really going well using what I have learned except now Mike has watched it and he has had just the opposite reaction. His negativity is hitting both of us! How do I make it stop! He keeps focusing on the what if’s… and well guess what… the what “ifs” are happening! :cuss:

He has been saying over and over… “We just have to make things last until October” He has been obsessing about everything and well, guess what? Things aren’t lasting and I am getting irritated!

His negativity is making me lose my own motivation, he is doing worse off cognitively in a long time and then I found out this week we are having a string of layoffs set to hit in April…

My roof started leaking again after the last rain which is going to cost mucho $$$ to get fixed and in an effort to save money, I found out that two weeks ago he changed our deductible to 1% so insurance won’t cover it.

My son’s surgery is not going to be covered by health insurance and we have to pay up front which is a $4k bill.

AND… to put the icing on the cake… my car was totaled this weekend in an accident – and yes he changed that deductible to $1000.00. No coverage, No car….

These are ALL things he has been obsessing about over the last month. I have tried doing everything I have been taught to counteract his negative energy and done every protection prayer I can think of to no avail…. HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP? :confused:

SO….. don’t be surprise if you see a strange footage in the next few days on the news with reports of a fat, middle aged woman running down the highway, naked and bald….:eek: You will know it is me and that I have gone crazy, pulled out all my hair, and am running away from home to join a nudist colony! ARRRGH!:yikes:

[Paula Mae]

(((Lori))) Well I dont have any big answer for you other than I will do my best to pray and send you positive energy. You are a wonderful person and you deserve all the joy and happiness you can have. :love:

Love ya,

Paula

[Laura]

((((Lori)))) I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling right now. I'm going to email you directly...


:hearts:

[Jeannie]

((((((Lori))))))):musicnote :musicnote :musicnote :musicnote

[Gail]

Lori, if hugs can help, I'm sending you some. ((((((((Lori)))))))) :love:

[Pam]

((((((( Lori ))))))) You poor dear, when it rains it really rains. I'm sending you lots of love and supporting energy :love: :love: :love:

[CarolynB]

:hearts: :hearts: :hearts: (((Lori))) Lots of love and light headed your way!!!! Take a deep breath! And another ... e-mail on the way ... :hearts: :hearts: :hearts:

[Pam]

That being said, about counteracting negativity and negative thinking...

Some of the things you hit upon here that are discussed in the principals of the Law of Attraction is watching your thoughts. You can get caught up in your thoughts, and start kicking yourself for your negative thoughts. I was listening to the HayHouse archives and Esther Hicks speak about this very subject. You can think a simple fleeting thought like , "gee I hope that tree doesn't fall on me" and then think "OH! Law of Attraction, now I've manifested that the tree will fall on me!" and never want to leave the house.

Those thoughts will come of course, because we're human, and that illustrates the whole need to monitor our thoughts. I believe it takes just a little bit of diligent practice.

You can acknowledge the thought and say to yourself or even out loud: "oops, that was a negative thought that I just had. I acknowledge the thought, and I release it. My day will be safe and without accident." In the beginning, you may do that 6 times an hour. Pretty soon you will begin to acknowledge the negative thought before you even finish the "gee I hope..." If you don't get in control of the thinking, you can go into endless circles worrying that every thought is creating reality.

Another principal of the LAW is gratitude. Now, I know after saying that, you want to kick me square in the fanny, and you're thinking, "didn't she just READ about all my trials and tribulations?" Of course I did, and I honestly have sympathy for what you're going through. All the more reason to find a method that works for you, to control your own thoughts. Because, if you focus on what you have, and do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got!

Finding gratitude amidst what seems to be a huge mess is an art in itself. But I do notice you have an internet connection. Be grateful for it. You do know how to read and write and English. Be grateful for it. You have healthy lungs that breathe on their own without the help of a machine. Be grateful for it. You have to start with the little things that ARE there for you. Here's what I think is a great thread on Gratitude (http://friendscommunities.org/forum/showthread.php?t=9322&) if you need a little push.

About spouses: Law of Attraction says that you can only manifest into your own reality. You cannot think him into a place where he'll be positive. I personally know how difficult it is to share life with a person who is consistantly negative who repeats 'but that's the way that it IS. But you know that it's TRUE". I feel for you there! Again, this is where LAA says that gratitude for what that person brings you in life is the place to focus your thoughts and feelings. You cannot make him change his thoughts and words. You can only control your own response to them. If you remain in your positive feelings, and you make yourself have gratitude for all the things he is, then Law of Attraction will place you outside of his sphere of negative energy.

One last thing here that helps me with this personally. (Thank God for Hayhouse radio) Sonia Choquette says, "fake it till you make it" and I have personally found this to be true. When I don't feel grateful, I pretend in my head and in my acitons that I do. When I don't feel happy, I put a smile on my face and I try to laugh, laugh, laugh. Where the body goes, the heart and mind follows. Something "clicks" with me when I do that, and I actually do start to feel gratitude, and I really do start to feel better.

I don't know if any of this will help...but as above, you certainly do have my thoughts and prayers for positive energy to enter into your life :)

[Jude]

SO….. don’t be surprise if you see a strange footage in the next few days on the news with reports of a fat, middle aged woman running down the highway, naked and bald….:eek: You will know it is me and that I have gone crazy, pulled out all my hair, and am running away from home to join a nudist colony! ARRRGH!:yikes:




(((((Lori))))) Sending you lots of light and positive, healing energies. :candle: :candle: :candle: :candle: :candle:

And for what it's worth, the visual you just have me is the highlight of my day. If you can retain your sense of humor through all this, well...THANK YOU for that!

:hearts: :love: :hearts: :love: :hearts:

[LoriM]

You have no idea what your prayers, kind words and emails mean to me tonight. I can always count on my Friends to help light my path when I can’t see the forest through the trees. Thank you.

I am usually a pretty positive person and I try not to let things get me down. All of this happened since Thursday and it was a lot to handle all at once. I guess that sometimes I get so wrapped up in the here and now of the current circumstances that I forget to focus on the important things. (Hence, the pity party I threw myself earlier.)

I guess what happened is that I let myself get sucked into Mike’s negativity I started to worry about it. The universe doesn’t recognize that it is his worries that I am concerned about… only that the worries were being put out there and I ended up manifesting it anyway. I guess I can say I have experienced one of the principles of The Secret first hand, huh?

Okay, so let’s see if I can turn this around…. First and foremost get a copy of The Laws of Attraction and in the meantime I see a visit to Hay House archives in the very near future. I am going to make a God Box, like Colette Baron-Reid suggests because holding on to these worries suck!

Most importantly like Pam suggested… being grateful for the things I DO have…. Like the fact that I wasn’t hurt too badly this weekend, that I HAVE a house to gripe about needing to fix, that I HAVE the ability to take care of my son’s surgery, that I HAVE a wonderful husband that loves me, respects me and supports me, and that my children are healthy, AND that I have wonderful Friends like you to give me a swift kick in the butt when I need one! (((((Friends))))) Thank you so much for being there for me! :hearts:

Oh…and can some one clean up the mess I made…. Pity parties leave a lot of tissues! Pity part is over. :o

[chassiewes]

Lori, luv,
Sounds to me as if you're entitled to a Pity Party. The work begins once you get it out of your system. For those who say, "How can you ignore things that are true? It's the way things are," Abraham-Hicks says there are by nature of the contrast (variety of experiences and events going on throughout our lives), yup, there are tons of things that are true. There are good things that are true and bad things that are true. You have a choice as to which you focus on. So focus on the part of your reality that is good, or, as Pam said, appreciate the good. If necessary, sit down and make a list of ALL the things for which you can be grateful. This in itself with raise your vibration. Visualize your roof fixed, along with the appliances that have gone on the fritz. Visualize the car that will replace the wrecked one. Perhaps hard work, but at least try it. That which is like unto itself is drawn - the Law of Attraction. You might feel you're being tested, now, Lori. Turn that around and put the Law of Attraction to the test. Between your efforts and our prayers and positive thoughts launched in your direction, things will get better and better and better. It's a win-win proposition. Just be patient, with yourself and your husband. Source is on your side!! (End of sermon.)

Chassie :hearts:

[Laura]

(((((Friends))))) Thank you so much for being there for me! :hearts:

Oh…and can some one clean up the mess I made…. Pity parties leave a lot of tissues! Pity part is over. :o

Awwwww...We love you, Lori. :hearts: Nothing like a little pity party and a good cry to reboot the system. Tomorrow is another day! (((Lori)))

[Beth]

(((Lori))) -

I'm so sorry to hear about all the issues you are dealing with right now. I'm sending you lots of positive energy to get you through these difficult times.:candle:

You have taken the big first step by being aware that you need to do something differently to counteract the negativity around you. The second step is to start acting and making changes. Don't forget that small steps will make a big difference!;)

You have lots of wonderful support and good ideas from your Friends here. I love the idea of the gratitude list! Try writing it down, like Chassie said, it really helps.

Go ahead and lean on us anytime - that's why we're here!:hearts: