How do you memorialize your loved ones on the Other Side?

[Pam]

Today's show in syndication had a reading that included some great insight from John. Here's a snippet of that reading:


>>John: This lady is a piece of work. She wants to acknowledge that it's personalized in some way.

Family member>>Absolutely.

>>John: She's pulling her energy back. I don't know if you guys are doing something in may, but she want to acknowledge -- if it's a birthday, you're going to get a clear depiction of how her personality is. She wants you to make sure you honor and celebrate the event in May, whatever this is.

Family member: We did. We had a big party for her.Big dinner party.

>>John: This was an event like a wedding - Where you would toast.

Family member: Oh my God, we even bought her her own bottle of wine, poured the glass, the whole bit.

>>John: She was there, then. She was acknowledging the toast and also acknowledging that somebody went and made sure that her favorite cake, or dessert, was there or whatever the favorite was.

Family member: Yes!

>>John: A lot of people who are watching this might think it's therapeutically not a good thing to be doing. For me, I think that what you guys are doing, I don't see it as unhealthy at all. To me, to take the opportunity to acknowledge somebody, that they're still here, like this, is a biggest gift you can give back to them. Because there's no medium sitting in that room saying "she's in the chair, she wants 'this' she wants 'that', It has nothing to do with the medium, it has everything to do with the love and the process between you guys and your family, and honoring the fact that although she's not physically here, she's spiritually connected. And to celebrate her birthday, and everything else connected to ti, becasue She tells me it wasn't just a birth. There's something else.

Family member: Mother's day and her birthday are connected.

>>John: -- Two things that you celebrated. It's therapeutic and healing and good. But you don't have to have a party for them, you don't have to set a place for them at the dinner table when they pass. It's just the thought and the intention and the acknowledgement that I know goes a long way for them. So on behalf of her, and them I'm just going to say 'thank you' because I think that's really, really cool.

Family member: Thank you. Thank you. (Applause)


How do YOU memorialize your loved ones on the Other Side?

[Daughtie]

My mom and I went to a remembrance mass this past November. I saved the candle from the mass, and I light it on special occasions.

[JBannister]

Pam,
What a great thread. I have lost a few people, friends and family, and I think I acknowledge them in different ways.
With my family, at any significant event or anniversary, I will
often say a toast for them and lift a glass in their honor, even
though I am the only one here. My Dads birthday was on Christ-
mas, and he is never forgotten. I may light a candle and talk to
him. If I am at my sons, I ask that we all toast grandpa when
we open the dinner wine. I can imagine him watching, smiling.
With close friends it is a little different. I have had four very
close, long-time friends cross in the past few years. I won't go
into detail, because I memorialize them in as unique of ways as
they were unique as individuals.
But one example. My friend Alan crossed a couple of years ago.
Alan was a fan of the Rolling Stones, even seeing them in concert
several times. Towards the end of his life when I was one of his
caretakers, he asked me to put on some Stones music and dance
with him, as he drug all his I.V. paraphanelia around, we danced.
Now, on certain days, or even sometimes when I'm just think-
ing of him, I put the music on. And I dance with him. One more
time.
Julie

[paige]

Probably the most important thing to me, is communicating with them and including them in our day,everyday! I thank them for hanging out with us, in my prayers every night!

I remember them to my teenage son. His time with them was so short and at such a young age. He loves hearing the stories! He has a huge shark's tooth that grandpa found about 30 years ago! I point out the personality traits of my grandpa, in his daughter, my mother, my son's grandmother! I pass the priceless gift of our geneology on to him! This was a labor of love for my grandpa! He spent most of his adult life researching the family history! His work is published in a wonderful book! I know how important it is to grandpa, that his work is passed on!

My brother,Jeff, drown when he was fifteen. I was only eight years old, so I wasn't as close to him as I would have liked to have been. I still have the journal my brother Jeff kept in his eigth grade homeroom, over thirty years ago! Nothing profound, just the daily thoughts of a thirteen year old boy!

My uncle died of lung cancer a few years ago. He is a real character! He wore this worn out old straw cowboy hat every where he went! I'm sure he's still wearing it! Such a tease, he was always being silly, cracking jokes and loving on his neices and nephews (or his "kids" as he called us)! He has the best energy!!! I don't have to look far to be reminded of Uncle Bob! He is the uncle of a very well known professional baseball player, my cousin by marriage! Every time I see a baseball or a cowboy hat, I am reminded of Uncle Bob! He is equally proud of all his "kids!"

My three year old's Aunt Becky died in 1999. She was only 34 yrs. old. She had a congenital heart defect and struggled for several years, before she passed. This woman is full of love! She has one of the kindest hearts I've ever known! She was an avid collector of frogs!! Her house, clothes, everything has frogs! I have a glow in the dark keychain with three frogs on it! I am reminded of Becky every time I use my keys! I also have three glass Murano frogs sitting on a shelf in my living room! My three year old has a big stuffed frog pillow he received as a gift just a few months after Becky passed! The people who gave him the frog pillow did not know Becky!! I sing the "Frog Song" to my three year old every night before he goes to sleep! I also make sure that my little one spends as much time as possible, with his cousin, who was nine years old when his mother passed!

I want to be reminded of these precious individuals on a daily basis! I acknowledge them on holidays or birthdays, just as I do on every other day of the year!

p.

[RC]

I'll enjoy reading what others do...

Every night, I light a candle next to a picture of the person I lost. I also say little "spirtual thoughts" to all my loved ones who have crossed (kind of like prayers, but I'm not really religious).

Most importantly, I'm doing my best to memorialize them by living my life with them in my heart and trying to incorporate the many wonderful things they taught me when they were in the physical world.

[Gail]

Hi RC:)
I have the same type of candle Valerie has on my husband's old dresser with a nice picture of him in front of it. There's also a little toy frog near it. I can say hi to him when I walk by and I will lean on the dresser, look into his eyes and talk to him. I also talk to him while I am driving. Every night I say "Good night" to him and tell him I love him.
Gail

[transtartwin]

My mother and I made things together all the time. She liked to sew and I did lots of other kinds of crafts. After she died, I turned to rubber stamping and found it very therapeutic and soothing to the soul. :)

I wanted so badly to be able to share the things I had made with her, so I decided that I would make her a homemade Mother's Day Card every year. I live out-of-state, so I send it to my sister, she takes it with her to the cemetary, reads the card, and describes it. I know JE would laugh and say, "Why do you need to go all the way to the cemetary to connect ..." I guess this helps me and my sister both connect with her. Besides, my older brother tells me that my Mom wouldn't dare drop in on me in my house, because its too messy and if I want to feel her spirit around me I will have to clean the house first. :laff:

... Of course, this could be blackmail! :tsktsk:

[Koala]

I remember my loved ones by telling my nieces, who were born after my grandparents crossed, about them. Such as my nickname that my grandpa gave me was chick, why I don't know but thats who I was to him. My dad who crossed in December of last year is remembered with a grapevine wreath that his brothers sent to the funeral home with flowers on it. When the flowers died we took them off and put pictures on it that the grandchildren colored, a note from one of the girls that she wrote to him after he crossed, an ornament, a silk rose from an event that they went to, a ribbon that we received on a gift basket after he crossed. And when something happens that reminds us of him I tell them that is what grandpa would have said or done. They are never far away because they are always in our hearts and in our thoughts. :angel: :D Kim

[KatLynn4]

My dad loved deer and deer hunting. This Christmas I bought a beautiful buck Christmas ornament for our Christmas tree in his memory. I also bought one as a gift for each of my brothers. The last 2 Christmases I took a small Christmas tree to my father's grave and put a gold deer ornament on the top. At our family Christmas party, I displayed a family picture with my parents, my brothers, and me.

Oops! Now I've done it! JE can never read me (convincingly)because all of his researchers can get all of this info from this post!!! ;)

Kat

[Pam]

Wow, I am so touched by all these acts of love :)

I do keep my loved ones in mind, and I do talk to them, but I guess I've felt like I haven't done enough. The outward acts, like the dinner party, the simple act of lighting the candle, or dancing with my friends who have gone on before me.

I know that John's saying that the outward acts aren't necessary, but I feel like I need to express it outwardly. Mabye that's not so much for them, but for "me".

I'd love to hear more.....

[Irishrose]

I have the most beautiful picture of my great-grandmother in a very special frame along with a wonderful picture of my great-uncle that I see every time I go into my own craft room. They stand out the most. It is not unusual for me to say hello and to remember hearing their voices - especially their laughter.

I have letters from my brother and roses from his casket cover that constantly remind me of him - his voice and his laughter - it is such a great laugh - a fun laugh. Often I begin to laugh for no reason until I realize I have heard him laugh - such fun.

Recipes from my grandmother bring her voice to my ear every time - so soft and soothing. Such wonderful memories and feelings. My own little videos run through my mind every time I think of any of my loves ones that have crossed. Activities we did or just every day things as I watch from the ceiling and look on them - guess I do the spying...:D sometimes....!

Thanks for the warm hugs Pam, nice to share.

Irishrose

[jjharts]

Our memorial to my dad has been an ongoing labor of love for the last year. My mom and dad had an inground swimming pool that was covered by a fabric building. After my dad crossed we all decided that it was just to labor intensive for my mom to deal with, so we decided to take down the building and fill in the pool. We are now making a beautiful formal memorial flower garden in it's place. We scattered my dad's ashes in the pool while we were filling it in with dirt. I can't wait til spring to see the flowers bloom that we planted last fall!!! We also want to plant a few butterfly bushes out there too (yellow butterflies always reminds my mom of my dad!).:daisy: :daisy:

[WPBEAR14]

A very interesting thread.
The one special thing I did for my dad after he crossed was contribute to the American Lung Association as a memorial in his name (he was a heavy smoker.) For my Mom's mom there is a remembrance at the nursinghome where she was when she crossed. An apple/plaque with her name and date crossed---I don't think I was responsible for the plaque, it was a long time ago, but I do acknowledge it when I go there to visit my mom.
But the best remembrance I did was for my sister.(Besides handing out JE pins, that is.) I ordered her this for Christmas before she crossed (although she almost left us before that)...I got her a star named after her from the International Star Registry. It was and is really cool and I was happy that she did get to know about it before she crossed. Now everytime there is a clear night, I can look up and see my sister's star.

Love, light and peace,
POOH

[VioletSky]

I created a memorial website for my best friend when she died.

[tigger2001]

I had my dad's name entered into the Golden Book Of Rememberance @ The Metropolitan Cathedral Of Christ The King, also masses said for him,as well as prayers. Last Christmas was our first without him and Mum also set a place @ the table in his usual seat. We still include him in our lives. As long as we keep them in our thoughts and words thats how we stay connected to them.

[Irishrose]

Pooh, I love the idea of naming a star after a loved one. Can a person still do this? I would love to get one named after my brother.

Irishrose

[powerfulpug]

I know this is going to sound pretty goofy, but I hug a photo of my grandfather almost every night. I have a large framed photo that I carry with of me and I hug it when ever I need to be close to him, which seems to be a lot lately. I also will sing a song to him. I sing one of the songs we used to sing, after every holiday meal, to him. I always tell him how much love and miss him daily. Sheila

[chargeit2him]

I have pictures of Mom and Dad on a curio cabinet along with my Mother-in-law. There are candles and angels along with a figurine of a navy person. (Dad was in the navy for 20 years and hubby was also in) I talk to them . Although during the first couple of years after mom passed it was a lot of questions as to why my little sister was doing what she was.:mad: now it's just to say :wave:

[YvonneVT]

Excellent thread!
Let's see. I lost my brother one year ago. For his birthday, I made a birthday cake, put candles on it, sang happy birthday to him and ate a piece for him. (I did this ALONE, lol).

I have told him that whenever I light a candle, he needs to know that I am doing it as a symbol to him to let him know I'm thinking of him especially, more than I usually do.

Before I go to sleep at night, I tell him that no matter where he is, I want him to know he's still my brother and I understand that he's around. I tell him I'm sad and missing him, but glad that he is safe in his eternity and that I know we will have a wonderful reunion someday when I get there. I ask God to go find him in heaven and give him an extra-big dose of His love and peace.

My brother had two sons, and something special they did whenever they were together was to play Pachelbel's Canon in D at bedtime. So another thing I do quite a bit is to play that piece of music when I'm alone driving in the car. Sometimes I pull over on a back road and just sit there and listen to it.

All I could do after he died (I'm still doing it, even a year later) is knit and crochet. Of course, I still work and take care of my family, but this is something I do so I can think my thoughts and try to process the grief. For Christmas, each member of our extended family received an afghan, and I told them these were my "grief blankets."

These are the daily things I do, but the real cherry on the cake was getting to be in the gallery and hear from my brother again. I'm so grateful for the work JE does.

[Pam]

Thank you again, everyone who has contributed to this thread. I am visualizing everyone doing these things, and imagining those on the Other Side watching, smiling, dancing along, singing along and smiling back in appreciation.

I'm getting some good ideas here, thank you :)

[greta]

!!!

Wow, Paige, I'm really out of breath reading your post of 2/4. Lots of good ideas and lovely sentiments.

greta

[JoanTG]

I have a few pictures of my son, with a tall white candle in glass, that I light every night for him. Next to these I also have an "Angel of the Heart" which was a gift to me on the day of his burial. I shall light the candle for him til my dying day, to let him know the light of love is never extinguished. Joan

[Farmer Kathy]

Great thread Pam!!

One of the most important things that we all do is talk about our son, Ray. Share memories. One of the most beautiful things a very good friend of mine did was start a "Ray memory book" right after he passed. She wrote stories about spending time with him and different things he did that made us all love him. Since then quite a few other people have added their own stories. It is very nice.

The first Christmas after Ray crossed over I started to buy his sister's a gift from him so there would be one under the tree from their brother. The first few years it was Christmas village stuff, now its ornaments for their tree. I try to find something to tie in with their childhood.

Since Ray crossed in July the next holiday to celebrate was Halloween. Every year we get a HUGE pumpkin and Halloween night we go to the cemetary and light the candle in it. (if you think thats kinda creepy, many others do too) But thats just us I guess.

Kathy

[MistyRose49]

I'm an only child. My dad alway kept my mom's "battery supply" full....flashlight, Christmas decorations, radio, etc. So every Christmas and on her birthday she gets a card "To My Sweetheart" which I sign "All my love, Harry", and she gets a supply of batteries.

Mom, in turn, at Christmas, always makes sure Dad gives me some type of cologne...he always did, and still hasn't stopped ;)

When she and I talk, we also include him in our conversations, i.e., "Did you hear how she's talking, Dad?" It's always lighthearted

[naomi]

While I was looking for Christmas presents online I came across a tiny angel wind chime. Each of the angels on this site were named. It just so happened that this little angel's name was Wendy (my daughter's name). I just had to have it. When it came I bought a little wire frame for it to hang from and placed it on my desk at work right next to my computer.

The neat thing is occasionally when I move papers around the slight breeze will make the chimes sound with the tiniest little tinkle. It's as though Wendy is saying hello and I answer every time.

[LateNighter]

When my husband and I married ten years ago, we paid tribute to my mother and father and my husband's father (all deceased), as well as his mother and stepfather (living), in the program for our wedding ceremony. I knew they would be there for us, regardless, but I think they were pleased to be "officially" remembered in that way.

[forgiveness]

Okay…. It has taken some time for me to post this thread. Something amazing has happened and it is so personal and so close to me that I am not sure anyone else will understand…. So here it goes.

I'd like to share a sign that I received from a loved one that has crossed. I didn't realize until I first started to respond to this thread. Then when I realized this, I was beside myself with joy and wonderment of the other side.

As I opened the thread, I realized that it had been a while since I memorialized this one person that meant the world to me and that is NOT like me. Every year, I would always light a candle on the day of her death and would visit her gravesite. This year I forgot.

I first felt sad and guilty. I would light a candle in the past because I wanted to feel close again to this person. I wanted to honor them. I forgot this year because through John's Show, tape and books it taught me that they are always with me. That they do send signs and I honor them by just acknowledging them and praying for them. I forgot to do the trek to the cemetery because I feel like she is with me.

Here is the kicker. During the holidays had asked this person for a sign. A little something extra special just to let me know they were around. I had only started meditating in November after listening to John's tapes and had finally built up the courage to ask for a sign. I asked them for something kind of specific. I felt so grateful for the work John has done that I asked that it be in some way, no matter how small, connected to JE. I know that might have been a tall order. But I stand guilty as charged…I asked for it. Well when I was granted an interview with John in January …I was beside myself! I thanked her, cried…was just so thrilled…. But this story isn't over

The weekend Prior to the radio interview with John, I spent extra time meditating. I even snuck in Kosher Salt and a smudge stick past the security cameras at work and did an energy cleansing. During the meditation, I asked for clear thoughts…not to be nervous and that my on air buddies would try to have an open mind. Sometimes (off the air) they cross the line from Skeptical to cynical when it comes to the topic of Crossing over.


I woke up on the 28th of January, the day of the interview, and did my everyday Psychic Protection, I also said an extra rosary and thanked my loved one for the gift of an interview with John and went to work. The interview, despite some tech probes on our end, was fabulous. John was so well received and it was everything I could have ever asked for

SO, here I am at this thread ready to talk about the fact that I have forgotten to memorialize my loved one…before I start to type I thought….

Wait…when was the anniversary of her death…
OMG!
That is right…it is January 28th….
THE SAME DAY I INTERVIEWED JOHN!
I am so floored by this!

Not only does the other side want us to know they are here…. They reveal it in a way that is so personal and so specific to me…. That I KNOW it was meant for me.

So, how do I memorialize a loved one that has crossed over?
I will be amazed and grateful everyday that her energy and spirit is around me. That all they ask for in return is to be acknowledged and pray for them.

And yes…. I now know as I travel to her gravesite that she is with me and out of respect, I'll clear the winter sludge away from her headstone. I will then thank god, that she has the energy to come through to me the amazing way she does.

[Gail]

{{{Angelina}}} What a wonderful validation from your loved one. You really got a big one.:)

Gail

[Irishrose]

Angelina, how very special this all turned out for you. That was a wonderful validation and a very special memorialization.

Nice job!!

Irishrose

[Phigalilly]

Angelina,
Your friend is amazing! What a special gift:)

[Daughtie]

Wow Angelina! What a fantastic validation!!!

[Pam]

(I must confess that Angelina called me and shared this validation with me on the day she realized it. ) I was totally wow'ed by it, knowing all the details. There are no accidents or coincidences, and I believe that interview happened on that particular day for a reason! I'm glad you got it Angelina!!!! :-)

[forgiveness]

(((((all of you)))))

I wish I had a camera on me the day this happen...I was so jazzed, I didnt know what to do .

I grabbed a piece paper thinking I have to write JE ..I grab the phone at the same time speed dialing Pam and of course ,I tripped and fell on my face trying to do both at the same time! I stayed on the floor with the giggles for a few minutes thinking how silly that must have looked!
I am surprised Pam understood a thing I said.
Thanks for seeing the validation I felt! It means alot!

LOT-O-LOVE!

[paige]

((((Angelina))))

I love it! I will never get tired of hearing about this stuff! :jumper:


p. :thumbsup:

[amfie]

OMG, if I can type through my tears I think I will be ok.

This thread is just so amazing! I am so touched by all the beautiful memorializations that you all have shared. And Angelina ... Congratulations! I am so thrilled that you received such a huge validation! Definately smiling through my tears here!

One way I think my family memorializes those who have crossed over is by talking about them and sharing stories with those in the family who don't remember them or didn't know them. We keep them alive in our hearts.

Since my father has so recently crossed over, I am not sure what we will do in the upcoming months. However, one thing I decided to do was to purchase a chalice or ciboria and have it engraved with my father's name. My mother is a Eucharistic Minister at their local parish and I want her to be able to remember and be close to my father in such a spiritual way. She takes alot of comfort in her faith and it has such a special meaning for her. I am hoping that this memorialization will bring comfort to Mom and will also send loving messages to my Dad on the other side. To Thank him for giving me what I treasure most .... the values and morals that he taught me.

[VioletSky]

Originally posted by LateNighter
When my husband and I married ten years ago, we paid tribute to my mother and father and my husband's father (all deceased), as well as his mother and stepfather (living), in the program for our wedding ceremony. I knew they would be there for us, regardless, but I think they were pleased to be "officially" remembered in that way. I also did that for my best friend at my wedding :) I had a memorial candle with her name on it and a framed picture on a small table at the reception. Then I dedicated a song to her.

[LateNighter]

The candle and photograph are lovely ideas! I wish I had thought of doing that. I know your friend was right there with you, enjoying your wedding day, and feeling very special because of you.

[VioletSky]

Originally posted by LateNighter
The candle and photograph are lovely ideas! I wish I had thought of doing that. I know your friend was right there with you, enjoying your wedding day, and feeling very special because of you. you know, i went back one day and looked at all our reception pictures and there are 2 orbs visible in one of them. I am sure that one of them was her :) Still it'd be nice to be able to confirm that she saw all of that. The song was One Sweet Day - mariah carey & boyz 2 men

[PsyQuestor]

OT: I'm getting married soon.

On Topic: I am going to play a special song at the wedding in lieu of a Father / Daughter dance. There will be special candles and photos. I'm going to sew "something" into my wedding dress hemline too.

Off: Scott and I started dating shortly before my Daddy crossed over. In fact, Daddy "picked" Scott for me. :D (( Thanks Daddy )). We weren't ready to marry then, and I was devistated when I realized that He wouldn't be there when we did marry. I lost my enthusiasm for the whole wedding / marriage thing.

On: Since I know that He will in fact be joining us that day, I have decided to go ahead with the plans we made well over ten years ago. We're getting married, having a wedding, and my Daddy will be there!

So to finally answer the question; I memorialize them by including them in everything I do. Instead of being depressed that they won't share this day or that day, I rejoice in the knowledge that they will and have shared every special day.

Also, I say prayers for them all the time, and never forget to try to make them proud of the person I've become.


(((( JE Friends ))))

Tammy

[LateNighter]

Originally posted by PsyQuestor

Also, I... never forget to try to make them proud of the person I've become.



Tammy,

That will always be, for parents who have crossed over, the ultimate validation - IMHO.

[paige]

Originally posted by LateNighter
That will always be, for parents who have crossed over, the ultimate validation - IMHO.


(((LateNighter)))

What a profound statement!:teacher: You gave me goosebumps!


p. :thumbsup:

[Sunflower]

My father was always making up games to play with me & my sister & brother as we were growing up and even making up "pretend" words (which of course we thought were real words until we got alot older). I have taught most of these games and words to my children and we will call them "grandaddy games" when we play them. I want the great fun and traditions that I got from my dad to be carried on.

The other thing I do each year....that is incredibly meaningful to me....is I participate in the American Cancer Society "Relay for Life" in a small town where my father grew up. It is my way of, not only helping a worthy cause, but honoring my father and as a reminder to him how much I love him. I have to tell you very quickly of an incredible validation from my dad that happened the first year we did the Relay for Life. Quick history, my dad was very much interested and involved in the American Indian Culture. He would even go on mens "drumming" retreats, sweat lodges, vision quests, etc. Anyway, when I arrived at the Relay, I went to set up my tent, next to my neices and my niece told me to look right next to us. Right there to my left was a real Indian teepee set up with a huge sign in front of with an Indian painting on it and the words "Vision Quest ... Searching for a Cure". I nearly fell over....and my niece told me that she had set up camp first and that they happened to choose the spot right next to use to set up the teepee. I KNEW then that my dad was there with us!!!

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's responses on here and have gotten some more great ideas on ways to further honor my dad!

[canadianmom]

I too have a picture of Dan, (whom I lost, as a friend, to AIDS) sitting on my tv, and remember him, and his buddy Michael on a daily basis, you know, just thinking of it, I sat both pics beside each other at home. I wonder if the spirits had anything to do with that...hmm....
Every year, I remember him twice, once on May 12, his DOD and another on a memorial date we have every year.

Michael's mom and I often keep in touch, as we're in the same city, and we have yet to do Michael's memorial. I also did Dan's quilt, a year after he passed over, and sent it to his parents, 2 provinces over from me.
Since then, I've lost many more.

[LateNighter]

Originally posted by paige


What a profound statement!:teacher: You gave me goosebumps!





It's something I still keep in mind when faced with a decision about my actions, Paige. And I'm at the age where AARP is after me! :D