woobeesmom
08-14-2001, 02:19 PM
How to Shower Like A Woman
1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put
on this morning.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on
head. If you happen to pass husband along
the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick
out stomach so as to complain about how fat
you're getting.
4. Turn on hot water only.
5. Get in the shower, once you've found it
through all the steam.
6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long
loofa, wide loofa, and pumice stone.
7. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lemon
Shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with
Cucumber and Lemon conditioner enhanced
with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for
fifteen minutes.
9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for ten minutes until red and raw.
10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger
Nut and Java Cake body wash.
11. Complain bitterly when you realize that your
husband has once again been EATING your Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash.
12. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at
least fifteen minutes as you must make sure
that all the conditioner has come off).
13. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide
that you can't be bothered.
14. Scream loudly when your husband flushed toilet
and you get a rush of cold water.
15. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.
16. Dry with a towel the size of a small African
country.
How To Shower Like A Man
1. Sit on the edge of the bed and take off the
underwear you've walked around the house in
all morning. Leave them on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see
your wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Pat your beer belly with affection as if it
was a Great Achievement. Suck in your gut to
see if you have pecks. (NO)
4. Turn on the water.
5. Check for pecks again (Still No)
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a wash cloth. (You
don't use one)
8. Spend 5 minutes soaping your body and rinse.
9. Spend 15 minutes washing your croth and
surrounding area.
10. Wash your rearend.
11. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.
12. Make a shampoo mohawk
13. Open shower door and look at yourself in
mirror, giggle.
14. Pee
15. Repeat #9, because it felt good,
16. Rinse off and get out of shower.
17. Pick up towel and sniff it. If it smells
ok, go ahead and dry off with it. If it
doesn't smell ok, holler to your wife for a
clean one.
18. Return to the bedroom wearing the towel, if
you pass your wife, flash her.
1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put
on this morning.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on
head. If you happen to pass husband along
the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick
out stomach so as to complain about how fat
you're getting.
4. Turn on hot water only.
5. Get in the shower, once you've found it
through all the steam.
6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long
loofa, wide loofa, and pumice stone.
7. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lemon
Shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with
Cucumber and Lemon conditioner enhanced
with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for
fifteen minutes.
9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for ten minutes until red and raw.
10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger
Nut and Java Cake body wash.
11. Complain bitterly when you realize that your
husband has once again been EATING your Ginger Nut and Java Cake body wash.
12. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at
least fifteen minutes as you must make sure
that all the conditioner has come off).
13. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide
that you can't be bothered.
14. Scream loudly when your husband flushed toilet
and you get a rush of cold water.
15. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.
16. Dry with a towel the size of a small African
country.
How To Shower Like A Man
1. Sit on the edge of the bed and take off the
underwear you've walked around the house in
all morning. Leave them on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see
your wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Pat your beer belly with affection as if it
was a Great Achievement. Suck in your gut to
see if you have pecks. (NO)
4. Turn on the water.
5. Check for pecks again (Still No)
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a wash cloth. (You
don't use one)
8. Spend 5 minutes soaping your body and rinse.
9. Spend 15 minutes washing your croth and
surrounding area.
10. Wash your rearend.
11. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.
12. Make a shampoo mohawk
13. Open shower door and look at yourself in
mirror, giggle.
14. Pee
15. Repeat #9, because it felt good,
16. Rinse off and get out of shower.
17. Pick up towel and sniff it. If it smells
ok, go ahead and dry off with it. If it
doesn't smell ok, holler to your wife for a
clean one.
18. Return to the bedroom wearing the towel, if
you pass your wife, flash her.