View Full Version : Psychic humor
All of those who believe in psychokinesis please raise my hand.
I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met.
02-16-2004, 07:47 AM
Some of these are better than the others....
(How they do it.......... )
Canadian Tarot readers do it with significance!
Most Tarot readers would rider waite to do it.
I Ching readers roll with the flow.
Numerologists figure the odds.
Cartomancists flip when they do it.
Astrologists do it on the cusp.
Palmists take it hands down.
Chiromancists do it with drips.
Deja Vu's just think they did it.
Rune readers do it where the stones grow.
Paranormalists aren't sure how to do it
and are contacting Art Bell on the mothership now.
Dowsers do it diviningly.
Clairvoyants do it within sight.
Psychometrists do it with feeling.
Channellers do it with guidance.
Magnetic healers do it with non-fatal attraction.
Hypnotists do it in their sleep.
Mystics do it in Altered States.
Scryers saw you do it and are watching the
instant replay right now.
Hirospacists need guts to do it.
Tea Leaf readers do it with the right grounds.
Crystal seers like it on the rocks.
Dream interpreters do it Jung.
Aromatherapists do it with good scents.
Psychics do it in their heads.
Mediums do it 'til the table tips.
Metoscopists do it in lines.
Wiccans do it in circles.
Pagans druid 'til they drop.
Querents do it very carefully.
Qabbalists do it on the right path.
Spiritualists wait and a disembodied voice
tells them when to do it.
Alchemists are waiting for that perfect combination.
The Hermit does it with a light on.
The Hanged Man does it with bungee cords.
No one knows if the Magician did it.
The High Priestess won't tell but the
look of smug satisfaction on both their faces
is a dead giveaway.
The Empress, does she or doesn't she?
The Greatest Psychics always do it with Protection!!!!
02-16-2004, 07:56 AM
Very funny Pam.
:D :D :D
YOU MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF...
* He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, "Ask again later."
* Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"
* Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.
* His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.
* His spoon bending requires two pliers.
* Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes."
* During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."
* Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."
* Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.
* Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.
* Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.
This one's for Gail ;)
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."
Those are hilarious!!!!! Loved em all!
(Poor little froggie :D :jumper: )
02-16-2004, 08:32 AM
:laff2: Pam ~ You must be butter...... you're on a roll!!!rofl :laugh3:
:D Should I post that one in the ADC forum? :laff2:
Yes, Gail, I think it qualifies! :jumper:
02-16-2004, 09:58 AM
:D :jumper: :lwink: :laff:
Need I say more?
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.