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Forums Forums Answering Skeptics and Debunking Cynics Dealing With Cynics

last updated by  Eric 16 years, 4 months ago
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  • #62638
    fredskeeper
    Participant

    Hi guys!
    I’m pretty new to this, so bear with me. I am really curious to how others react to the skeptics out there. I have been so impressed with John Edwards, that I find myself feeling really defensive towards the cynics out there. My new husband Fred is a cynic, although he hasn’t said anything to me about my new interest here because I told him not to. So please let me know how you feel.

    #73281
    PsyQuestor
    Participant

    How JE deals with cynics: He doesn’t!

    He says that he doesn’t defend it, because that proposes that it needs to be defended. And…it doesn’t. People choose what they believe, he doesn’t make issue with it either way.

    IMO He spends his energy spreading the message, not ‘defending’ the message :thumbsup:
    Tammy

    #73283
    RSLancastr
    Participant

    That’s a pretty broad question, Fredskeeper.

    It would largely depend on what the cynic is doing. And, while we’re at it, it depends on what you mean by the word “cynic”.

    If you mean someone who is nasty, argumentative and mocking of your beliefs, then you do your best to ignore them.

    If you mean someone who has their doubts about JE and wishes to discuss it with you, then it depends on whether you wish to engage in such a discussion.

    If you are going to engage in such a discussion, your best bet would be to acquaint yourself to the arguments you will be facing, and the rebuttals to those arguments that the pro-JE side has.

    If you are not going to engage in such discussions, politely but firmly say so. If they persist, get more firm and less polite.

    And, as a side note, forbidding a spouse to talk to you about a subject, especially one involving something as important as a world view, might not be your best move.

    -Bob

    #73285
    Don
    Participant

    Originally posted by RSLancastr

    And, as a side note, forbidding a spouse to talk to you about a subject, especially one involving something as important as a world view, might not be your best move.

    I’d have to agree with that. While we don’t have to share the same beliefs and opinions, some of us do have to share the same breakfast table. Communication is a gotta-do. ;)

    #73319
    duskydelphi
    Participant

    dear fredskeeper,
    i too live with a skeptic, and a male one at that! i came to believe in JE and the work he is doing over time. it eventually became a “heart” thing – i just believe. the questions i had were answered as i went along watching the shows. my “furball” however, didn’t buy one word of it! thought it was stupid. we didn’t make much of a deal of it, i didn’t find it necessary to defend JE and he didn’t find it necessary to convince me i was wrong. every now and then he will watch a little of the show with me (always with tears in his eyes), and sometimes i tell him about things that happen on the show. i have noticed that he is a little less set in his dis-belief, i have even heard a comment or two that makes me think he is wondering about the whole thing. he lost his mother about 3 yrs ago followed one week later by the loss of his father. he was 35 yrs old at the time, his mother was his best friend and they were his first “people”losses. it was pretty rough and i don’t think he has or can compeletly deal with them being gone yet. so JE’s message while delightful for the most part can be painful if you are in his shoes. i can certainly see where he would have lots of conflicting feelings coming up. anyway, maybe you and fred can just kinda ride the ride where neither of you has to take a stand and see what happens. good luck, and these are great people here so keep coming back! dusky :)

    #77673
    countrymouse
    Participant

    Originally posted by PsyQuestor
    How JE deals with cynics: He doesn’t!

    He says that he doesn’t defend it, because that proposes that it needs to be defended. And…it doesn’t. People choose what they believe, he doesn’t make issue with it either way.

    IMO He spends his energy spreading the message, not ‘defending’ the message :thumbsup:
    Tammy

    Oh! That helps me a lot, actually. I wandered in here, after getting clearance, hoping to find out how to defend against naysayers (including a little part of my mind that is one also!). But it’s better to just look to the good and not get bogged down in things that won’t convince a skeptic anyway.

    Joanna

    #78017
    LiliC
    Participant

    My husband’s a cynic too. Not a skeptic, mind you. He believes in life after death, and the ability of some people to tap into unseen energies, but in HIS opinion, anyone who makes money at it is a fraud. Black and White. Easy as pie.

    There’s no convincing him, so I’ve stopped trying.

    He doesn’t bother me any more about my belief in John’s work. He just says, “you watching your ‘Dead People’ show now?” I say “Yup.” and that’s the end of that.

    We had a few arguments early on, when he tried to impose his views on my kids. I’ve explained to the kids that Daddy and Mommy simply have different points of view, and it’s up to them to come to their own decisions. I like this agreement. It’s a healthy approach.

    It is frustrating though, when the person you love doesn’t doesn’t see eye to eye with you on such an important subject. But rather than try to “change” them, simply explain to your spouse that they’re free to believe whatever they want, as long as they allow you the same freedom.

    Good luck!

    Lili

    #78018
    Jude
    Participant

    Originally posted by LiliC
    …There’s no convincing him, so I’ve stopped trying…

    …But rather than try to “change” them, simply explain to your spouse that they’re free to believe whatever they want, as long as they allow you the same freedom.

    I think you’ve just summed it up, Lili.

    I’ve come to that same conclusion over the last 8 months or so regarding ALL cynics, whether they’re relatives, friends, associates, or strangers.

    They will never be convinced; trying to do so is a hopeless waste of time, energy, breath, and sanity.

    To each his own.

    #78021
    marcia
    Participant

    I think you will feel differently about it at different times in your life. There will be times when you want to at least attempt to make a point, there will be times when you feel you have banged your head against the cement one too many times and simply don’t care or are too tired to “go there” as they say. I have responded in writing a couple of times to articles on web sites and Pam has been kind enough to post them here in this folder. While I don’t typically look to have debate about John……I will if and when I feel strongly enough moved to do so. You may find the same is true with you. There is nothing that says you have to be drawn into a debate or defend your viewpoint each and every time, but if at the moment, you feel compelled to do so, you won’t hesitate, it will just sort of happen. My better half also started off with stronger dispersions against ADC than he now bandies about. Some things have happened that have had him scratch his head a time or two, which is all it takes to get that door open a crack. I didn’t force it…it just happened. It’s the same way it happened with me, it’s just that now I get to stand back and watch it happen to him and I’m loving it. I hope I’m there for the actual moment the light bulb goes off, but even if I’m not, I’m happy to sit back and watch the inevitable. Hopefully it will happen for your better half as well. Let it take it’s own course. You will instinctively know when to sit back and when to speak up. Trust that inner voice everyone has and often ignores.

    #78022
    Jude
    Participant

    Originally posted by marcia
    You will instinctively know when to sit back and when to speak up. Trust that inner voice everyone has and often ignores.

    Very true, Marcia. When your inner voice tells you that you’re dealing with a true cynic who will not be convinced until he/she crosses, it’s time to sit back.

    I’ve found those people to be very few and far between, thank goodness.

    #78023
    Fairiedust
    Participant

    A ray of hopeful sunshine.

    Everything happens for a reason. He’s definitely been exposed to JE. Must mean he was meant to be, for a reason. Just sit back and watch it unfold.

    I am so glad Don is as open as I am. It’s nice talking and agreeing on something that can be so very controversial.

    I don’t try to explain JE to anyone, but I do ask them questions that make them scratch their heads a time or two. Force feeding does not work, and I’m also not into the choo-choo train spoon feeding. Either you get it or you don’t. Anyway, I know where I’m heading. And that’s all that counts.

    FD

    #78040
    ariechert
    Participant

    I had always thought of myself as a “skeptic” if not a downright disbeliever in any kind of afterlife or paranormal. When I was in high school I was fascinated by paleoanthropology and human evolution. But, that was many years ago. I actually worked as a lab technician doing cancer research for seventeen years, which I guess would qualify me as a “scientist.” I think my first exposure to the possibility that there really may be a life after death (other than organized religion) was Raymond Moody’s “Life After Life” the stories about Near Death Experiences. After reading the book I always wondered if it were possible there may be something to this “survival of consciousness.” It wasn’t until I accidentally found John Edward’s “Crossing Over” on TV that I made a full fledged effort to research the topic and find out if we do survive. John Edward is amazing. There is no way he could know the stuff he knows if he wasn’t getting it from the other side. It was John Edward that convinced me that there really is an afterlife. Since watching his show I’ve become interested in all the various aspects or corroborative evidence of the existence of an afterilfe. Victor Zammit gives 24 examples of evidence of life after death. I also like the Survival Science site. There is just so much real evidence for life after death that I find it hard to not believe. – Art

    http://www.victorzammit.com/book/index.html

    http://www.survivalscience.org/

    #78510
    Eric
    Participant

    A good way to separate the cynics from the skeptics is to hand them evidence. No amount of evidence will convince a cynic. A skeptic, however, will give the evidence its due. The existance of C.O. won’t be enough for true skeptics, but experiments like Gary Schwartz’s should get all but the truly hard core.

    I wouldn’t recommend trying to convince people with it (“The Afterlife Experiment”) online, but it might make a good present for a skeptical spouse.

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