April 19, 2003 at 7:27 pm #86198LindaSueParticipant
Originally posted by Don
Hi Kat. The first thing to realize is that one of the normal reactions to trama and distress is to lay blame – often on God and on ourselves. The very fact that you’re concerned and asking questions tells me that you’re ready to move on, but probably feeling as though you’re forsaking something. It’s as though you’ve made a pack with yourself to remain angry.
No one here – least of all me – can give you qualified advice, so take what we say in that light. Having said that, I’ll offer that perhaps all you need to do is simply stop fighting. Confront your concerns head on. Don’t wimp out. Go to the church where your brother was a minister and talk to the current clergy. Tell him what you’re feeling. I think you’ll be surprised at what you’ll find.
I was directed to this board by the show the other day when John did a feature segment about this site.
I have become a member of this site because I was so impressed by the compassion and concern that you have for each other here. True no one may not be qualified from a professional standpoint, though I do think that it is wonderful that you all are willing to reach out and offer comfort to someone when that is needed. I am touched by the compassion and caring here.April 19, 2003 at 8:46 pm #86203TheophiliaParticipant
Originally posted by katsted69
Is it just me or have others lost the faith when a loved one past and how do I get it back. I do believe in the here after and everything that I read and watch from the show but how can I return and not feel weird and still blame the church for all my loss?
“How can I return” is a very old question. I think the Prodigal Son kept asking himself the same thing. Wasn’t he surprised when he went home and his father not only wasn’t angry, butgave him a big party!
I don’t know what church you are in. I say, go back, feel wierd, see what happens, trust God. It’s oaky to feel wierd. It’s okay to be mad, cry when you pray, take things a little at a time.
John says that we can get “stuck” in the grief process. It sounds to me like you are ready to get “unstuck.” It also sounds like you had a whole lot of pain when these loved ones passed and when we are hurt we often look to lay the blame someplace. Your church may BE the answer to what you are seeking. They may have grief support, your pastor has some training in this. I am sure.
And don’t forget the ones who are always there to help you work through this: the very loved ones who have passed who want you to move on and find peace and acceptance. Talk to them, too!
I will pray for you-
TheoApril 20, 2003 at 7:44 pm #86215AntsmomParticipant
When my son passed 2 1/2 yrs. ago I was very angry. I was angry at myself, angry to see others with their children, angry to hear of all the abused children in this world. I was livid that my son who was so very loved by everyone, passed. I never blamed God, I don’t know why. I blamed me. But after a lot of help from many sources I’ve come to realize that death is part of life and that we are all here for a reason. My faith has gotten stronger and I now believe that when our job here is done, we then go HOME. I know that when I pass I will be reunited with all my loved ones who have gone before me and I also know they are part of my life now, helping me on my journey. I don’t know the why’s, but I just have to accept. I’m just starting to let go of the anger. It has taken a lot of work on my part. But I know that when my job here is done, I will also join them on the Otherside. I know that the Otherside is a much more beautiful place where there is no pain or hurt, only love and peace. I consider Earth a school, a place we learn lessons that our soul needs to grow. I have gotten too many messages and signs to not know that we are indeed eternal.
AntsmomApril 21, 2003 at 2:32 pm #86221gignyyParticipant
Did you ever consider that your brother is sending his message through your children–I think that’s a wonderful sign! Speaking of wonderful–how about the “friends” on this site! Thanks Pam for ALL the messages:)
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