July 1, 2012 at 8:15 pm #68177
Does anyone have any understanding as to why, the first week that my dad passed away…he made himself known to ME & not my mom? I was not horribly close to my father but I took part in his care the most…I had to take him to dialysis 3x a week & all that stuff with it & we lived in the same home. My mom was with us & was married to him for 42 years & spoiled him rotten & yet she grieves so fiercely for him because she wants to know he’s ok. She is trying to understand why I have had all the experiences with him & she had none. We are both sensitive..actually she MORE than me. So, I have had ALL the comfort & she has had none. I told her everything that happened in hopes she would take it to heart & have comfort but instead, she’s afraid my dad didn’t love her & that her 42 years were in vain. This is killing me!!!
My experiences with him after he passed were as such: day 2 I had a dream of his death…that my mom & I had walked across the desert with him hand in hand until we got to a particular place & then we were permitted to go no further with him but instead, he had an angel to take him safely through that place/portal/change of life. This had been occurring while we were holding him in the hospital the night he passed. Then I had a vision the moment I woke up & later in the afternoon I KNEW he was there, following me around & he was concerned for us..trying to take care of us (which was odd b/c he was NOT that way in this life). day 3 & 5: it was night & I had fallen asleep. I woke up from a sound sleep & I smelled a particular aftershave of his he used to wear when I was little. I KNOW I was awake..it was not a dream. and…we didn’t even have the bottle anymore. there’s NO way it was real. I hadn’t smelled it in years & years but I knew it immediately. For months after that, I had dreams about him oftenish. The thing is…he always came home looking the way he always did & just as sick. In my dreams I was always so glad to see him but then horrified & wondering what he was doing here. In the dreams, He never spoke to me & I always thought he maybe didn’t know that he had died so he just kept coming home. I didn’t have the guts to tell him so I just acted normal in the dreams. The last dream I ever had about him that I knew was more than “just a dream” was the one where we were at the doctor & he came into the waiting room, fully dressed & looking disheveled as usual but HE LOOKED SO HAPPY! HE HAD THAT GRIN ON HIS FACE LIKE WHEN HE’D TOLD A REAL FUNNY & HIS FACE WAS SO PINK & RUDDY! We were so glad to see him & as usual exclaimed “DAD! what’re you doing here?????” He just grinned like a fool & sat with us in the waiting room still not interacting. I never had another dream about him after that…not “one of THOSE dreams”. I had one more recently but it was just a dream…not supernatural. I can’t even remember what it was about.
I know God talked to me about my dad. He came in “like a lion” & just took care of things…it is my belief that He allowed me to see the visions & have the dreams so I could have confidence but why me? why NOT my mom. she’s lost without my Pop. she was married to him since she was 16 & now everything she knew & was familiar with is gone. If it was dad’s choice to visit…why wouldn’t he visit mom? She loves him so much & needs him so badly.
any ideas??? I wish I knew what to say to her. She’s my most favourite beloved person on the planet.July 15, 2012 at 3:50 pm #123677
I’m so sorry about your Dad. How wonderful you had such an amazing “dream visit”! Dream visits are often quick and the dearly departed don’t say much but you KNOW it isn’t a typical dream. They are usually just happy to see us and to be seen! :)
Anyone can understand your frustration (as well as your Mom’s) that your father is connecting with you so strongly and not with your Mom. This is not unusual. My experience is that those who are the closest and most emotionally connected to a loved one on the Other Side often have to wait longer to hear from them. Why? I’m not sure. I think it has to do with emotions. Emotions are made up of energy. Those in the Spirit world communicate through energy. If someone is emotionally distraught, their vibration may not be conducive to receiving just yet. And that is OK. She is NOT doing anything wrong and it has nothing to do with how your Dad feels about her. She needs to be gentle with herself and move through her grief and process it all in her own time.
This is a time to TRUST. The Spirit world has a different view of things and I fully believe they will communicate when the time is right for any individual person. Please know that when the time is right, your Mom WILL get a connection from Dad. It may take some time but it will happen in the way it is supposed to happen for her. And when it does, she may be able to look back and realize that it occurred exactly when and how it was supposed to.
I hope this helps in some way. Many blessings to you and your family. :)July 19, 2012 at 4:57 pm #123678
Thank you Laura for answering this post! It does help & it makes perfect sense! I didn’t think of it on a vibrational level. It’s wierd b/c when people I don’t know very well die, I cry over it sometimes…but when we have a death in the family, I have never really shed a tear. Maybe a few months down the road after it’s settled with me but…I’m always super calm & Mom is USUALLY the rock of gibralter…not me. That makes sense that vibrationally dad & I might match up more. I was calm…verrrry stoic. It appeared as if it weren’t an issue for me at all but like everyone, I deal with it in my own way. It was probably really easy for him to contact me because I was steady. I do hope that time will come for my mom. We are both really empathic & Mom can read anybody & everybody like a book. I just haven’t felt him here…for a long time now. I think he’s gone. He went somewhere…I remember the time period whe I realized I didn’t feel his essence at all anymore & chalked it up to memories softening with time. I wonder if he can come back & visit…if he would even want to. Maybe he’ll forget about this place here…I don’t know. I grew up Christian & I am still wholeheartedly but the way we were brought up doesn’t answer those things. It really doesn’t even address them clearly to my way of thinking so..I just wonder about these things. My upbringing would shriek..”it was all a dream! there’s no such thing!!!” but I know better..I’m an empath & rely on vibrations more than my normal 5 senses. I KNOW what I saw, I KNOW a normal dream from a “special” one, & I KNOW what I sensed…it was as real as you & I. so…trying to make sense of it as I weave in & out of my upbringing. Thanks for the help…it makes perfect sense that way! <3
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