March 8, 2003 at 5:24 pm #85476IrishroseParticipant
Pam has items that she sells on SpiritDiscovery.com
Check it out – you might find some things there that would serve your purpose.
Irishrose:daisy:March 8, 2003 at 5:36 pm #85477caroleeParticipant
Thank you I will check it out:jumper: :jumper:May 1, 2003 at 12:45 am #86431
Wow – this thread is right up my alley. I have been wondering how to smudge my workspace.
In fact, things have gotten so bad that I told my boss just this past Monday that unless we can get the person sharing my space and I separated, I will be doing the separation. I have been after an office reconfiguration for a long time. He keeps saying – “Oh, we’ll be moving soon.”
I told him ‘end of June’. As Office Manager, I have given several inexpensive ways to accomplish this separation while we wait for the “BIG” move. The boss has acted on none of them. So he either chooses one soon or ….. And it isn’t a bluff. My husband supports this and I will walk!
I will say that the boss has been in high gear the past two days looking at options and making calls. We can hope. But a big move isn’t even possible for 4 months and only if this one space a few blocks down becomes available at a price we can afford.
For the past 5 years I have been enduring, working with and trying to nuetralize this very negative personality that sits 4 feet from me. It is so draining to sit so close to one who exudes negativity for a third of your waking hours! I have reached my emotional end and psychic energy for this task.
So now that I have vented – a question please. My office is currently in a basement with no real natural light to speak of. The lights are flourescent and I keep an incandescent lamp on my desk. I would be hesitant to smudge this area and certainly don’t want to use an oil that might endanger someone. The Aloe Vera plant sounds like a compromise. But I am concerned that it won’t thrive in these lighting conditions. Anyone have any suggestions?
BTW, my boss laughs at me b/c I talk to the few plants we do have at the office. I brought three back from the brink of death after my co-workers asked me to care for them. I tell them they have to talk to them particulary because we are so isolated in the basement. Now I don’t have conversations with them or anything! :lwink: But his plant has suddenly gotten very lively- I wonder if he is secretly talking to it!
We have four planters currently in the office and every weekend I sit them to the front of the office where they can be together and get a little very indirect natural light that filters down from the skylight 5 stories up! My co-workers all think I am nuts, but they are pleased that I keep the plants in good shape! :daisy:
starlasueMay 1, 2003 at 1:50 am #86435GailParticipant
Starlasue, I have one of those negative energy vampire people working with me also. She saps all good feelings you have right out of you. :( Lately I’ve been imagining an envelope of the white light around me when she is near and it really seems to help. I am also a pretty friendly and easy going person and it’s more difficult to get me angry (but she manages to do it). She retires in less than 18 months and everyone is counting the days.
My other co-workers have a really hard time dealing with her because they have no defense against her. They come to work feeling pretty good and go home in an angry mood. The sad part is the vampire believes she is such a good holier than thou person and can’t understand why she is so disliked. She isn’t someone you could tell why to.
Counting the days. :)
GailMay 1, 2003 at 11:06 am #86447
I am hearing you! I too am very easy-going and my boss is genuinely concerned that I will leave b/c I tend to be the peacemaker and keep work flowing.
I too surround myself with protective prayer, but as I am very empathic, I pick up emotions from others very easily. Usually it is an asset b/c it helps me read a person’s needs or intentions.
Vampire’s can be so draining! After 5 years I really need a break. I am glad at least you have an end-date in sight – that helps some.
I’ll say some protective prayers for you when I do mine!
PS – We need a smilie that represents a “no-vampire” zone! :lwink:May 1, 2003 at 12:23 pm #86454Pam BKeymaster
starlasue, I feel like I could have written your post! It must be the path I agreed to walk before I was born, but everywhere I have worked, I have had at least one person like this. If I only knew then, what I know now in hindsight after retiring from that world! I can also relate to the “move” as that was an issue for me as an operations manager in my last job. That’s another story…
I have some suggestions for you. I agree that burning smudge is probably out of the question for you right now. First let me tell you about some essential oils you might want to use along with prayerful intent, that have cleansing, protecting and disarming properties.
For cleansing and protection sage oil is safe (not talking about clary sage which you should never use around others who are unaware), instead of burning sage. It has the same origins, and therefore the same healing and cleansing properties and energy. It’s relatively safe, the only cautions are not to use it with children under 10, or by pregnant women. Other cleansing oils to use would be lemon or cinnamon. These are common scents, so no one would question their presence :)
Once the space is cleansed, you would then protect it. Sage and cinnamon protects, as well as Frankincense, or cedarwood.
Then you want to disarm the negativity, by bringing in some loving energy. Lavender and rose are scents that promote a loving atmosphere and also are related to the 5th or heart chakra – the center of love. Lavender calms in small doses, but excites in large doses. Rose reminds us to love ourselves, which is probably what your vampire needs most!
If plants don’t do well, why not bring in some inexpensive fresh flowers each week? The colors and scent will be cheery and remind people that there’s another world out there :)
My husband deals with his office vampire by getting into the office before that person, so he can “own” the space before she gets there.
And finally, have you ever heard of a book called Dealing With People You Can’t Stand ? It’s a wonderful, easy to read book that helps you take a different point of view and actually find a way to work negative people to a win-win situation. It was a life saver for me during my “corporate years”.
I hope that some of these suggestions help you find a way to cope and turn a negative situation into one that creates a win-win situation for everyone involved :)May 1, 2003 at 12:30 pm #86455JudeParticipant
The fresh flowers are a wonderful idea, especially for a basement office with little natural light!May 1, 2003 at 6:33 pm #86474
Thanks so much.
My secretary has brought a lavendar scent burner in for her space. Maybe I need to get some in here!
I do find that bringing cut flowers in helps me if not the ‘vampire’. I am a regular at my flower shop and it is rare not to find flowers at my desk.
On Dafodil Days for the local Cancer Association, I bought enough for every desk to have some. Guess which desk had the least vibrant, droopy flowers! And, they all came from the same bunches – so there is something to the negative energy that people exude.
I have not tried cleaning with the oils and I certainly can get regular sage oil. I plan to try that. And I have a tremendous excuse to be ‘cleaning’. I am in the process of taking time each week to work on organizing and getting ready for this hopfully, not imaginary, imaginary BIG move! :lwink:
So yes this has been very helpful. I will also try to get the book that you suggested.
I’m going to ask my florist when I go in next week about the aloe and the lighting.
Thanks so much!
starlasueJuly 11, 2003 at 10:49 am #87624
TODAY is office reconfiguration day! Whoppee! :jumper: The boss took my intention to leave seriously and is moving our psychic vampire to the other room!
AND, we have signed a lease for a new space effective in the early fall! :jumper:
So as we reconfigure our workstations today, I will have some ‘cleaning’ fluid with me and get my area cleansed of all that negative energy. There is an air vent between the two rooms. I intend to go up there and ‘cleanse’ that vent as well so that the negative energy doesn’t come in through there!
And Pam, when you get back, wanted you to know that the book you suggested, Dealing With People You Can’t Stand, was useful. I also tried a few of the tips from this thread to help in the interim.
Thanks for all the tips and support. I made it this far and that is fantastic b/c I really wanted to keep my job!
starlasueJuly 11, 2003 at 3:06 pm #87626JudeParticipant
That’s great news, Starlasue! :thumbsup:July 11, 2003 at 5:13 pm #87627TeenaSeeParticipant
Originally posted by starlasue
So as we reconfigure our workstations today, I will have some ‘cleaning’ fluid with me and get my area cleansed of all that negative energy.
Hee hee hee alright! :jumper:
Maybe you should carry around a spray bottle filled with salt water just in case she passes you in the hallway! :lwink:July 11, 2003 at 7:22 pm #87628
Thanks Jude and Teenasee!
We just finished moving everything. I am taking a break. Three of the staff and my hubby did everything. My ‘roomate’ is on vaction, so she said we could move her stuff without her.
Well we cleaned everything as we went and then I used my spray that I put healing scents and kosher salt in and used it throughtout the space that I am in (my old space since we moved her) really well.
My secretary can’t believe how ‘light’ it feels in here! :lwink:
For that matter, neither can I! This is fantastic! I am curious to see how things go on Monday. I can’t help but think that my co-worker HAS to feel it too!
This is just too cool after 5 years of agony! :jumper: :jumper:
The BIG move in the fall should be exciting too – we’re getting an offie suite twice the size of this one!
starlasueJuly 11, 2003 at 7:57 pm #87629AngelsMailroomParticipant
Did you also spray her old & new area? Ten I would expect that she will feel differently also. I wonder if she perhaps was responding negatively due to circumstances, and this may also help her become a more positive person with a better outlook.July 11, 2003 at 8:08 pm #87630
Oh yeah – I was INTO IT! :lwink:
She has a negative, grumpy countenance in any situation, but I am sure the cramped way in which we have been working the past five years didn’t make it any easier for her. So I am hopeful that she too will benefit from all of this change. But, that is up to her ultimately.
At her age, I don’t think those basic ways of ‘being’ change without a significant emotional event to precipitate it. She is one of those folks that walks into a room and just drains almost all positve energy away! Folks do not like attending meetings if they know she will be present. Sad really. I have prayed for her over the years and will continue to help where I can.
starlasueJuly 11, 2003 at 11:08 pm #87632AngelsMailroomParticipant
How sad, really. We used to have the grumpiest great-aunt who lived with us. She pretended she didn’t understand English, and only spoke Italian to us. We never knew our paternal or maternal grandmother, as they had both died before we were born, and so Zia Carmela was the closest thing to a grandmother we had. Not typical of a loving old maid grandmotherly type, either! She just seemed the unhappiest of persons all the time, and even meanspirited.
Later in my adult years, when my cousin was researching for a book he was writing, he went to the small town in Italy where our fathers were born. He learned the story of our family, in that our grandmother was very poor, and her mother was widowed and she was left with 2 single daughters on a farm that she lived on. My grandfather was courting my great aunt, Zia Carmela. She became pregnant, and was sent away to have her child. While she was gone, silver tongued devil that Grandfather was, he began dating her sister (my grandmother), and also got her in the family way. There had to be a big dispensation thing so he could marry her, but had to include the permissions of Zia Carmela, who made him swear to take care of her the rest of her life. She was a bitter old lady. (Can’t say I don’t blame her)! When he came to America, he had to take my grandmother, her, and my dad, & his two brothers. We have always wondered whether the oldest brother was in fact Zia’s son, or my grandmothers. Especially after finding out her story, I understand her pain and rejection and feel such pity for that old lady. She outlived them all, dying at 98 or so, a very unhappy, rejected woman. So sad. So I do try to be as nonjudgemental as possible when I meet such a person, and try to show them extra love.
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