July 26, 2007 at 2:51 am #67250GailParticipant
This was from of my nutty MySpace friends. :)
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men–he found shopping
boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women–she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter
from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.”
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M’s on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a “CAUTION – WET FLOOR” sign to a
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
“Madonna look”by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE
And last, but not least…
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!”
July 26, 2007 at 1:16 pm #119419DonParticipant
Hey, I think I met this guy! He was back at the alarm clocks, setting them for 2am! ;)July 26, 2007 at 2:38 pm #119420StephanieParticipant
Reading this, I realized I had seen this before. Now I know where:
50 Fun Things To Do At Walmart
- Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
- Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
- Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
- Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
- Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
- Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
- When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
- Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”.
- Play with the automatic doors.
- Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
- While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap, anyway?”
- Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
- Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
- Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
- Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
- As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
- Put M&M’s on layaway.
- Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
- Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
- Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
- Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
- Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “…I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!”
- TP as much of the store as possible.
- Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
- Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
- When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
- When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
- Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
- Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
- Take bets on the battle described above.
- Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
- While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
- Hold indoor shopping cart races.
- Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
- Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
- Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
- Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
- Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
- Two words: “Marco Polo.”
- Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
- “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
- In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
- When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
- Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
- When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
- Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
- Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Sadly, being a college student in a very small town that houses a 24-hour walmart I have done most of these. :o The fun thing was that we actually got the employees there to play Marco Polo with us. Most of these activities can only happen between 2am-5am though. As long as they can ascertain that you aren’t drunk and won’t ruin the products, you can pretty much get away with all the games possible.July 26, 2007 at 3:15 pm #119421LauraParticipantStephanie;135931 wrote:Sadly, being a college student in a very small town that houses a 24-hour walmart I have done most of these. :o The fun thing was that we actually got the employees there to play Marco Polo with us.
ROFLJuly 26, 2007 at 4:54 pm #119422StephanieParticipant
Hey, I never said I was an :angel: .July 30, 2007 at 4:17 pm #119440JeannieParticipant
:laff2: That is too funny. I started to forward it to my hubby, whom, some of you know. I changed my mind. He hates going to Wal-mart. I am afraid that he would do some of them. When we were first married, he would play pranks on me in the stores. I would be pushing my shopping cart and shopping and notice that people would smile or snicker at us only to turn around and find him pushing another shopping cart filled and running over with maxi-pads and tampons! What a nut!:eek:July 30, 2007 at 6:03 pm #119441LauraParticipantJeannie;135974 wrote:When we were first married, he would play pranks on me in the stores. I would be pushing my shopping cart and shopping and notice that people would smile or snicker at us only to turn around and find him pushing another shopping cart filled and running over with maxi-pads and tampons
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